Steroids

     Now that Barry Bonds has been convicted of obstruction of justice for not convicting himself of the unproven allegations, I think it is totally plausible that a Ken Griffey looking guy can turn into OptimusPrime late in his career. It doesn't matter. The real scandal is how overzealous enforcement crippled the use of drugs that served a real benefit. Wasting diseases, burns, and even AIDS patients could receive help from steroids, but because doctors were harassed and even jailed for over prescription, doctors were unwilling to use them. In the early days, I guess this was to prevent body builders from getting ripped, back around 'Ultimate Orange'. Then to protect the sanctity of home- run records and to protect young athletes from themselves. A noble thing I guess. You shouldn't add hormones to kids awash with them already. But athletes have always been better at doping than the testers at testing. One body builder published a list of stuff he took, not prescribed, and it was about 50 different substances. Hormones, stuff to counter the side effects, stuff to counter that stuffs side effects, stuff to mask all that stuff. And of course he still had to work like a dog. But anyway, these drugs afforded real benefits to some in need and were underutilized because it wasn't worth the hassle doctors would receive if they prescribed them.

     I do wonder how many homers Mantle could have hit if he'd been on the juice instead of the sauce.

3D makeovers

It's official. Star Wars is getting a 3D makeover. The movie that should
get it is "Temple of Doom".

I'm not a big musical fan. I do like Fred and Ginger quite a bit. Ginger
might look stupendous in 3D.

What if America melts down

   They say you should have food, gold, and guns. Food is a good idea. As long as no one knows you have it. Just stay inside as long as you can. You need gold to barter with. As soon as they know you have gold, someone will come to steal it. So you need guns. This way, the people who have come to take your gold will get pissed off and kill you and take your guns as well. Unless you are chosen by the Illuminati to be one of them, or one of their servants, you're going to need a lot of hard ass friends. Hopefully, you're friends will be like the guys with the gas in "Road Warrior", and not the guys outside. By the way, get some cars with carburetors. Any gas that's left will plug fuel injectors in a heartbeat.
     Face it. If everything goes down the toilet, most of us are in deep trouble. The survivalists in Idaho have a chance, if only because they're readier than the rest of us.
     Really, most of the survivors would be starring in "The Time Machine". As the Morlocks.

Why gas prices are going so high

In a survey among energy traders, these were the most common reasons offered.

1. It's hot.

2 It's cold.

3. Aunt Hettie has gas.

4. Cousin Sylvie has hiccups.

5. The Chinese drive too much.

6. The Americans drive too much.

7. There was a fight outside my favorite strip club last night.

8. My mistress is greedy.

9. My other mistress is even greedier.

10. I used to work for Enron. This stuff gets me high.

I feel sorry for Cleveland

I feel sorry for Cleveland. I don't often feel sorry for Ohioans of any
persuasion, let alone Clevelanders. Not since The Ohio State University
fired Woody Hayes. But I really liked Leroy Hayes. Yes, I am old. But
after Cavalier fans gave their love to the hometown hero, King James,
and were pretty much much told to stick it on live television, now this
happens. The Cavs have lost 25 games in a row, more than last years
Nets, more than any NBA team ever. Cavs fans deserve better. Not much
mind you, but better.

Philly

A town whose symbol is cracked, whose QB is an ex-con and a sadist, a population where 25% is close to the poverty line, and whose idea of Haute Cuisine is Cheez Whiz based. Let freedom ring.

But what a starting rotation!

Weak dollar

A weak dollar helps our goods compete overseas. We are doing great, huh.
It increases gas prices, so that the federal government can come off as
all concerned. Perhaps for the welfare of the energy traders,who can
barely afford their exotic car collections. So let us keep the dollar
low and then push through Cap and Trade, the coming mind blowing scam
to save the world and benefit the exotic car collections of the traders
of that. In the meantime, lets make it impossible for the poor to fill
up their economy cars and ratty old pickups and pretty thoroughly
destroy the rural lifestyle. When everyone has moved into the cities,
people with exotic car collections will finally be able to really enjoy
them, out on the very open road.