Thursday, February 24, 2011

Why gas prices are going so high

In a survey among energy traders, these were the most common reasons offered.

1. It's hot.

2 It's cold.

3. Aunt Hettie has gas.

4. Cousin Sylvie has hiccups.

5. The Chinese drive too much.

6. The Americans drive too much.

7. There was a fight outside my favorite strip club last night.

8. My mistress is greedy.

9. My other mistress is even greedier.

10. I used to work for Enron. This stuff gets me high.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

I feel sorry for Cleveland

I feel sorry for Cleveland. I don't often feel sorry for Ohioans of any
persuasion, let alone Clevelanders. Not since The Ohio State University
fired Woody Hayes. But I really liked Leroy Hayes. Yes, I am old. But
after Cavalier fans gave their love to the hometown hero, King James,
and were pretty much much told to stick it on live television, now this
happens. The Cavs have lost 25 games in a row, more than last years
Nets, more than any NBA team ever. Cavs fans deserve better. Not much
mind you, but better.